How to dialogue between your inner child and inner adult

Inside every person lives both an adult figure and a child figure.

The adult within you has a positive side and a negative side, and so does the child.

When you are feeling like a Positive Adult, you are responsible, caring, mature, and helpful.

When you are feeling like a Negative Adult, you are critical, impatient, "too busy," and egotistical.

The Negative Adult needs recognition, praise, and sincere compliments. The Negative Adult needs to feel valued and appreciated.

When you are feeling like a Positive Child, you are curious, funny, energetic, cute, and adventurous.

When you feel like a Negative Child, you are scared, insecure, lonely, sulky.

For instance, you feel like sitting alone and wailing,

"Why doesn't someone come to help me? Why doesn't anybody understand me? Why is everything going wrong?"

The Negative Child needs to feel safe and loved and taken care of.

The Negative Child needs to know things will be ok.

Here is a dialogue exercise you can do to help re-balance yourself:

Look at yourself when you are feeling bad.

Are you being more like a Negative Child or a Negative Adult?

Don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty for feeling this way right now.

Just take the opposite role and have a dialogue within yourself.

If you are feeling like a Negative Child, the Positive Adult in you should say something like:

Positive Adult: Look, little one, I will take care of you.

You will not go hungry. You will have a place to sleep. You will have clothes to wear.

You are OK. You are all right. Don't worry. Everything has its time. There is a plan, and it will all be fine.

If you are feeling like a Negative Adult, the Positive Child in you should say:

Positive Child: Excuse me, may I speak to you for a moment? You are really doing a great job! Wow, you have so much responsibility!

You are undertaking an incredible amount of work, and you're handling it very well!

I just can't believe how efficient and productive you are, with so few resources, so little money.

You deserve some recognition for all this. Congratulations!

Writing down this dialogue in a notebook sometimes slows down your brain and helps you "hear" the messages.

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