Preparing to take emotional risks again

Loss is part of life.

You've had many losses. And many gains, too, but the losses hurt more.

You turn your loss over in your mind.

You just can't get over that original hurt.

You keep opening up the wound, just when it's ready to heal.

Why do you continue to feel so deeply saddened about a loss that happened a long time ago?

There's a positive reason.

The part of you that wants to over-protect you from any future pain, hurt, or risk keeps showing you that film clip, saying,

"Don't let this ever happen again! It hurts too much! You can't handle it! Don't take the risk!"

This protective part of you means well, doesn't it?

You can see what it's trying to do.

But is that completely true? You wouldn't survive another loss? The risk isn't worth it? Ever?!

An exercise to try:

Picture the part of you that keeps showing you the clip of the previous loss.

What does that part look like, if it were a creature, a being, a cartoon character. Can you name that part or describe it at all?

Ask it if it wants to tell you any more beyond what you've figured out (that it's acting as a protector).

Also, you can ask it if it's still stuck in the past, at that month and year when the loss occurred.

You've grown since then.

You've acquired new skills and strategies.

Negotiate, maybe, with this protective part, and be grateful for what it's trying to do, even if it's being over-protective and holding you back. Tell it that you're ready, ask for its help going forward, but in the right measure, so that you can still experience human life as fully as possible.

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