How to Get Over Betrayal

How to get over betrayal

Our message today is important but it will probably bring up some doubts for you. Our intention is to help you un-do some of the pain you have been carrying around with you.

Our message today is this: there is no such thing as betrayal.

Betrayal is usually defined as deceiving someone and acting contrary to a promise made. When you are betrayed, you feel (among other emotions) deeply disappointed. Disappointment usually implies that you expected someone would do something, often for your benefit, and they did not. Instead, they betrayed you and hurt you.

In order to discuss betrayal, we would first like you to re-adjust your notion of what "your benefit" might look like. Even when you are totally certain that a relationship, an event, or any kind of prize should be yours, it is impossible for you to see the many negative consequences that would accompany receiving it.

This may sound like Liebnitz, who said, "All is for the best in this best of all possible worlds." Well, all is for the best of your best self, that is to say, your soul. Your soul has chosen this body and these events to learn what it needs to. Your human ego, on the other hand, has cravings and aversions which lead you toward or away from things in life -- like a fish that swims toward a shiny object and away from a shark without perceiving the consequences of its actions.

Your human ego is like this fish, but your soul is standing on the edge of the water, watching the action.

In the water with you are your spirit guides, your guardian angels, helping nudge you in the right direction so you will acquire the experiences to help you evolve. But that means you don't always get to eat the shiny thing because it's a hook. Or, sometimes it means you DO get the hook, even though it's not what you wanted.

Betrayal, then, is when another person acts out of his or her own needs to bring you the experience you require for your soul growth.

If someone lies about you and you lose your job, for example, you will feel betrayed. If someone marries you and then has an affair and leaves you, you will feel betrayed. If someone earns your trust and then steals your possessions, you will feel betrayed.

You expected to be safe. You expected to keep what you had made. You expected to live the life you "deserve," the one you had planned.

Well, we care about you and we are not just saying "tough luck." Instead, we are saying "good luck," because a) that's what you've actually received through this betrayal and b) that's what you're going to need to change your attitude about why bad things happen to good people like you.

We don't expect you to rejoice at your misfortune. Whenever you get the rug pulled out from underneath you, it hurts you physically, and it also badly stings your pride. Being hurt still hurts, and you need to process your emotions (the core ones being fear, anger, and guilt).

But if you can pretend for just one moment that you are a someone else overhearing your own story, you might attain a new balance between sincere empathy and philosophical distance, and this will help you survive until you are ready to take your next risk.

The Greek philosopher Heraclitus sat by the side of the road in his old age, waving his finger back and forth saying, "Change, change, everything is change." People thought he had gone mad.

You in the wisdom of your higher selves realize that "betrayal" and "disappointment" are unexpected changes that happen because they are part of the plan you mapped out for yourself before you came here.

With love, The Guides

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